Merry Christmas!

We have had the pleasure of watching Avery grow and be fascinated by how much she has changed during this past year. She is finally deciding that walking on her knees (not crawling…only on her knees) is starting to get old and is walking most of the time. She concentrates very hard while doing it and that in itself is fun to watch. Both of her hands are stuck straight out and her hands and fingers are moving all over the place while she’s walking. I’m sure this won’t last long as she gets steadier on her feet but I love it. I miss her being a little baby and the way she used to turn her hand completely upside down and suck on her ring and pinky fingers. It’s something that I thought she would do for a long time. Danny and I love that she gets so excited when she sees Nana and Papa. Last week, while Melissa and Gavin were without power, Avery slept in her Pack n Play downstairs in my room. Even though she woke up earlier than I normally would have, I enjoyed getting up and putting her back in our bed. She loved the fact that the dogs were also in the bed with us…..especially Awwewa (Ella). She could watch herself on video (seen in an earlier post of her bouncing to music) over and over. It’s what I do when she’s unhappy. I show her the video and it’s an instant smile. She has learned so many new words over the past few months and it amazes me at how quickly she picks new words up. I could just sit and watch her for hours.She has brought so much love and joy into our lives. I cannot imagine life before her. We love her so much!

Petros Bekele Engelhardt has brought so much to our lives in just the few months that it’s hard to explain. We were not sure how long it would take for him to adjust to such a drastically different life, here in the United States but WOW has he ever surprised us! He is such a perfect fit for Dan and Tiffany. He’s sensitive and very loving. He is always paying attention to other people’s feelings. He gets upset if he thinks he’s disappointed you in any way and tries to make it better. I love to talk to him on the phone when he’s just trying to make small talk. If I ask him what he’s doing, he finishes telling me and then will ask “Whaya doin...you?” I have to tell him exactly what I’m doing at that point and then he’ll drill me further……”Wha bout Papa?” I’ll tell him Danny’s status at that point. In the beginning, I was calling him on my way to work in the morning to sing him a song on the answering machine before he woke up in the morning, which he found pretty fascinating. I started running out of songs and then there was always the danger of singing BINGO (one of his favorites) and trying to get all of the claps in while taking my hands off the steering wheel. Now, once in a while, he’ll ask me to leave him a message the next day. I’ve really got to brush up on kid’s songs again….it’s been a long time and I find myself forgetting the words.

I know that I sound corny but I can tell you that these two kids have made such a tremendous difference on the way I look at life. People used to try to tell me how much I would love them and how wonderful it would be. I know I’ve said it before but you just don’t know until you get there. I have so much more patience than I did with my own kids and I can always find an excuse for them when their parents do not approve of something that they’ve done.

As everyone knows, the economy is probably the worst that I can remember right now. My family is not exempt from the job cuts that are going on in many companies. 2009 is going to start out pretty rough but we are all hopeful that things will get better for our country. We know that there will be rough times ahead but we’ve already been through worse and we survived it. We will also survive it this time! I truly believe that everything in life happens for a reason and that it’s meant to teach us other things about life (even though sometimes I don’t want to learn anymore!). I try to keep it in my head that the issues we have are all meant to be lessons and to stay positive. Although it’s difficult at times, we continue to try to maintain a positive outlook for the future.

Happy Birthday to My Brother

Today, Saturday, December 6th would have been my brother Darryl's 41st birthday. It seems unimaginable to me that he has been gone for almost 15 years now. It just doesn't seem like it's been that long. I remember the last time I saw him. It was on Christmas day which was about 3 weeks before he died. When I think about it, I can picture his face very clearly opening a gift that my mother had given him.

I also replay the day that he died over and over in my mind. I remember every detail of that day leading up to the call telling me that my brother was dead. Numb is how I would describe the days following that day.....numb....for a long time after.

I think of him a lot. Whenever I see a really large and tall dark haired man, I still have to catch myself to remember that he couldn't be my brother. Songs by Lionel Richie remind me of him. The song Friends in Low Places reminds me of him and Dana singing karaoke and how happy they both were that night.

I often wonder what his life would have been like if he had grown older with the rest of his brothers and sisters. Would he have had children of his own? So many changes have taken place in our lives since, it's hard to imagine what could have been but it never stops me from thinking about it.

I love and miss him so much.